28ish - Redux Thursday June 4, 2009

Typically, I don’t repost existing posts, but for some reason textpattern doesn’t like me calling a post by a single numeral. Therefore I’m reposting my birthday post from last year in preparation for this year’s additions to the things I’ve learned.

Hmm … 28.

28 +2 = 30! 30 = Official Adulthood.

28 years ago with me old man.

hmm, So I’m 28 today. Odd that there was a time, when I never thought I’d even see 21. Therefore I think it’s pretty awesome to be 28 today.

I usually take my birthday off to relax and do some of things I love to do, but never get the time to do (watch Aliens, play Shining Force, drink Coke Floats, etc.,). Unfortunately, today I’m stuck working (well, for the day at least) and for some reason I’m in a reflective mood. While this might seem a bit pompous, here are some things I’ve learned in my young 28 years.

1) Fish-atarians & Chicken-atarians are ridiculous. Especially the ones that wear leather. Never take them seriously.

2) America Football is an amazing sport to watch … only if you bet on the games. If you don’t it’s boring.

3) If you do bet on sports, never bet against the Dallas Cowboys, the New England Patriots, Manchester Untied or the Detroit Red Wings. They always win when you bet against them and they will take your money.

4) Learn College Team names. The easiest way to start a conversation with someone who went to college in the states is to know that they were a Boilermaker or a Golden bear.

5) All crazy 110 year old East Indian men eat Yogurt. Most even live off yogurt. I’m just throwing it out there, but they might be on to something.

6) Smoking, while bad for your health and socially chastising, is always an easy way to meet people.

7) The best laid plans are never the memorable ones. The memorable ones are the ones where you end up in a place you never expected – For example going to Denny’s with members of the swim team, eating a bunless burger in a McDonald’s in Canmore or going to a gay bar in Minneapolis.

8) Volunteer as a kid. You’ve got the free time. You don’t need to work for money yet. It’s really good for you and it lets you laugh at people who didn’t volunteer and complain about work when your older.

9) Learn how to Iron a shirt and tie a tie. It’s embarrassing to be over 21 and can’t do either.

10) Never reference something you learned in High School as an argument. Also never argue with a professor. That whole 10 years of school thing probably indicates that the point you’re bringing up is something they’ve already thought of.

Furthermore, I pretty much guarantee that their point is going to squash yours.

11) Sophomore Albums always suck. Wait for the reunion tour. The one exception is Radiohead’s the Bends that was just phenomenal.

12) Never walk on a street barefooted. I don’t care how drunk you are or how much your heals make you hurt, it’s just dumb. Furthermore never raise your daughter to think that’s okay!

13) Never be afraid of public transit. Adults who fear public transit are usually odd.

14) Modified Corn Starch is the devil. Just try and stay away from it in general.

15) Okay, okay two exceptions to the sophomore rule – Rage Against the Machine’s – Evil Empire) was phenomenal.

16) Spider-man anything is always in style. Unless you’re a grown man wearing Spider-man PJs, because that’s just wrong. Spider-man underoos on a woman though…that’s a different story.

Spiderman Birthday Cards with a Web Designer joke on them are amazing.

17) Traveling Europe for 5 months is all cool and all, but traveling all of the 50 American States is a thousand times cooler. Who wants to see dozens of old crusty museums when you could get an In & Out Burger and watch a baseball game.

18) Never say no to having coffee/beer/tea with your parents or family. You never know when you might not get another chance.

19) Bar napkins are suitable legal stationary, especially for wills.

20) While people will mock you at parties and maybe some other social events, it’s all ways good to carry a camera around. Because when your old or just need some inspiration, just remember the person with the most photos of life always win.

22) Contrary to what Hollywood wants you to believe whiskey is not a suitable replacement for stitches. Unless you digg permanent scars.

21) Always, always, always enjoy your birthday.

Categories: The-Past, The-Site, The Craziness, The Humourous, The Inane, The Personnal, The Pop-Culture


One day when I end up in court for malpractice I’m so screwed if you get called to the stand Turner. My defense will have to be “Hollywood is always correct and whiskey is the standard of care”! You’ll then whip out your scar and I’ll be sentenced to hospital administration for eternity! Damn the Fantasy Land Hotel and the things it has made me do!

Cantle · Jun 7, 08:35 pm · #permalink



Don’t worry buddy, when I was a kid I watch Matlock all the time. Sure the sound was off, but I got the gist of it…

You won’t have to worry one bit, I’ll stand up for you in court.

“I was thought Rest my case, was a figure of speech”

cto · Jun 12, 07:38 am · #permalink

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