Google Search - Part 1 Wednesday September 27, 2006

One of the neat features of Textpattern is that it allows you to look at links to your site and how Google searches link to your site. I like to check on this feature pretty regularly. I think it’s neat to see how you are linked from some obscure French site or some weird Japanese panty site.

Recently, I noticed a trend in links from the Google searches. Specifically there are 6 topics where ctoverdrive ranks up in the top five Google results. Frankly, these topics are pretty screwed up.

So, I’ve decided to explain the context of these topics and maybe help people to figure out why they are being directed to my site. Because of the long-windedness of this post I’ve split it into two posts. Part 2 will come early next week.

1. Astrid Kuhn
Astrid Kuhn is a reporter for CBC Calgary’s evening news. On my review of the Fast Forward picks’ for ‘06 I made a sarcastic comment about Astrid Kuhn. This year she beat out the reigning uber hot mommy Tara McCool for Sexiest Female in Calgary. (In my opinion this is a civic travesty)

I’m sure Astrid Kuhn is a wonderful individual, but she’s not nearly as hot as Tara McCool. McCool has been the sexiest Calgary Female for like 300 years or something. Sure Astrid seems to be spicing up the CBC airwaves, but let’s see what she looks like after three children? That’s right not Tara McCool hot…

But now that I’m number six on the Astrid Kuhn results search, I think I’m going to talk about Astrid Kuhn as much as possible to become the number one resource on Astrid Kuhn in Canada.

Update: Well, It looks like I will be eating a mouth full of humble pie as It appears that Astrid Kuhn is a mother of two children.

2. Picasso Painting
For an art class project we had to do a replica painting of a famous work. I chose to do a black and white ink wash of some obscure Picasso Painting. It turned out far better than I expected it and I decided to include it as one of my pieces in my online portfolio. (which was once hosted at ctoverdrive)

I found the orginial painting from a Google image search three years ago. It was a very small jpeg on some random website. Because it was on the interent I assumed it had to have some sort of street cred. Since adding it to my portfolio this drawing seems to be getting two to three downloads per day from people trying to find this exact image. Which makes me wonder, how many people are trying to find a Picasso drawing for an art project and thinking that my rendition is a true Picasso? Was the Picasso work I reproduced actually a Picasso work? Or was it some lame student on the internet? Vica-vie Have I now added to the cannon of Picasso’s paintings? Ergo … um … I’ve lost track of where I was going with this.

3. The Orange Penis Jube-Jube
I found this Orange Penis Jube-Jube one day. I posted a brief story about it, but removed it because the content was somewhat objectionable. Because of the power of Google and this innocent little photo, I now know way too much about the rare orange penis disease.

an orange jube-jube penis

Apparently the orange penis is a rare and contagious disease, which all grown men can contract. I’ve actually never read up about it, but the pictures look horrible. Ok. Actually, I’ve never seen any real pictures. But I imagine that having an orange penis is very disheartening. But I do know one thing, many Scandinavian men seem to be concerned with this very issue. I hope they don’t think I have an orange penis. Because that would be embarrasing.

For the record I do not have an orange penis. And no, I will not prove it on this website…

Unless large sums of money are involved.

Categories: The-Site, The-Blogosphere,


The Orange Ju-jube Penis post was so funny I fell out of my chair laughing.

Objectionable content be damned. Re-post the penis post for all to enjoy!

Kari · Sep 28, 05:05 pm · #permalink

Commenting is closed for this article.