Random Thoughts For Taking The Cake With County Carnies Friday September 16, 2011

Earlier this summer, the city of Arlington held it’s annual county fair.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Arlington area, this probably sounds quite normal. For those of you who know of the Arlington area, this concept is quite comical.

It was essentially an inner city fair. It had rides, deep fried Oreos, local politicians (I met a real live Republican Politician… He frightened me), piglet races, a series of rides, and of course CARNIES. But not just any kind of carnies, you’re east-coast carny variety. Let’s just say, Conklin carnies have nothing on creepy east-coast carnies.

Anyways, it also made me yearn for the majesty that is the Calgary Exhibition & Stampede.

First – I’m not sure who they got to do the voice over for this game, but it really does sound like they found a hobbit from underneath the bridges of county Kerry.

Anyways, I digress. The games is called Oil Rush: A Naval Strategy Game and the concept is sort of a Command & Conquer type game, but you goal is to battle for control of the World’s Off Shore oil platforms and production. Just please don’t show this to GreenPeace about this one.

The funniest thing is that for the past 40 years the great Gerry has been working on Offshore Oil rigs across this great world he’s never mentioned anything about all out warfare. Sure my dad has told me stories of exploding oil rigs, knife fights, fist fights and… wait a second…

*Second*- This could be one of the few moments, where I will disagree with The Weakerthans leader singer, John K. Samson. Yes, we all know that the Jets new logo is somewhat controversial, but I’m still not buying the whole vibe that it’s a recruitment tool for a political secret military agenda.

I grew up watching hundreds of hours of World War Two documentaries and I have always loved the RAF/CRAF imagery. In my opinion it’s simple and beautiful design aesthetic and one that really transfers over to an NHL logo. And considering the team was handcuffed with the Jets name by the Winnipeg faithful, I really don’t think this was some altruistic military coup .

So why can’t a logo just be a classy homage to Manitoba’s cherished military history? And if we’re gonna get our knickers in a twist regarding the combination of sporting teams and military names, why don’t we go after The Columbus Blue Jackets, The Toronto Maple Leafs or The Brampton Battalion (which in all fairness is one of the sharpest uniforms in the Hockey world).

end rant

Third – This gem comes from Poploser and is quite possibly the single most surreal story about a baseball game of all time. It involves Kevin Costner, Jose Canseco, an entire team trade and pitchers playing in the outfield

Fielders hitting coach Pete LaCock, a former Cub who has seen many strange things, took over as interim manager. He put all listed pitchers in positional spots for the game. Non-pitchers pitched. To even out the playing field, Scorpions player-manager Jose Canseco did the same. He also named himself starting pitcher.

Fourth – I’ve always been a huge Ray Emery fan, even when he foolishly painted Mike Tyson on his goalie mask, so if you want to read a remarkable story take a gander at this article from the Sporting News on Ray’s incredible recover from a potentially career ending surgery.

Once it collapses, you’re done, Ruch said. It was a critical time for him. He could have played on that season with the Flyers and it would have collapsed and that would have been it. … The solution wasn’t any more pleasant. The corrective surgery replaces the dead bone with living bone — in this case, bone from the middle section of Emery’s fibula. Surgery meant the removal of dead bone from Emery’s hip and the extraction of healthy bone from his leg. It also involves cutting through muscle just to get to the femur.

It’s absolutely incredible that this guy is even still able to walk, let alone play Hockey at the world’s most competitive level. I guess the whole fighter imagery, is kinda fitting.

Fifth – Nothing makes me happier than to see karma come back to bite Groupon in the arse.

Sixth – So wait, the video for Kanye West and Jay-Z’s Otis was shot by Spike Jonze… Oh yeah, I need to change my pantaloons. (via. XOXOjes)

Seventh – Wait a second. On second thought, strike that last thought out… That wasn’t nearly as cool as this typographical rendition of Jay-z & Kanye’s N###as in Paris by Joseph Maruca. (It also helps that it actually includes the snippets from Blades of Glory) [NSFW]

Seventh – Some one with a lot of time on their hands has gone and converted all 30 NHL teams in to European Football jerseys. The results are pretty interesting, some are questionable at best, but a few are pretty sharp. To be honest, I’d love to see these Flyers jerseys in real life.

Eighth – You know what’s better than making fun of Neo-Nazis… tricking Neo-Nazis. Which is exactly what this local activist group in Germany did with these innovative T-shirts that revealed a secret slogan after being washed.

Ninth – I’m gonna steal a line from Jay Dorn, who provided the original link, but the news of Jack White teaming up with the Insane Posse just means that the guy really doesn’t give a damn of what anyone thinks of him anymore.

Insane Clown Posse – Leck Mich Im Arsch by Third Man Records

Tenth – Now this is good, ex-Blackhawks superstar and NHL loudmouth Jeremy Roenick reenacting the famous NHL94 scene from Swingers. (Again via. poploser)

Vince Vaughn would be proud.

Eleventh – The Legend of Zelda’s Link… as an 8-Bit Model Breakaway package.

Twelfth – And last but not least, for all you Washington Redskins fans… or the two of you I do know, here is the legendary sexy Rex Grossman article. [NSFW]… That’s right it’s sexy Rex… sexy, sexy Rex.

Categories: the-dc, The-Random, The Blogosphere, The Flames, The Football, The HomeLand, The Humourous, The Music, The Ravens, The Redskins, The VideoGames, The World

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