The Rooster Tuesday August 7, 2007

Due to my lack of internet connectivity, i’m been forced to do something completely out of my comfort zone – read a book.

I know it’s a phenominum that’s scaring the shit out of me, it’s sorta like if the Leafs won the Stanely Cup or someone chased all the rats out of Edmonton. The book that has started such an a amzing revelation is Chuck Klosterman’s amazing Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs. In one section of the book he jots down the Twenty-Two questions he uses to determine a suitable lover. For some reason Question Five has been bugging me.

5. You meet your soul mate. However there is a catch: Every three years, someone will break both of your soul mate’s collarbones with a Crescent wrench, and there is only one way you can stop this from happening: You must swallow a pill that will make every song you hear – for the rest fo your life – sound as if it’s being performed by the band Alice in Chains. When you hear CCR on radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it’s being played by Alice in Chains. If you see Radiohead live, every one of their tunes will sound like it’s being covered by AiC.When you hear a commercial jingle on T.v. it will sound like Alice in Chains. If you sing in the shower it will sound like deceased Alice vocalist Layne Staley performing acapella (but it will only sound this way to you).
Do you swallow the pill

Before you answer this question, download The Rooster by AiC. Now think of your favorite song in the entire world and put Layne’s voice over top of it.

Now do you swallow the pill?

Categories: The-Craziness, The-Pop-Culture, The Humourous, The Inane

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Ah… Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs was an amusing read for sure.

And no, I don’t swallow the pill. If the guy really loved me he’d totally understand.

Margo · Aug 7, 09:06 AM · #permalink

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What if your soul mate is Wolverine?

It was just sitting there, thought I should ask it…

ryan · Aug 7, 10:11 AM · #permalink

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A book? The horror!

dave · Aug 7, 10:30 AM · #permalink

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I didn’t know you could read…

Dark Manyluk · Aug 8, 03:48 PM · #permalink

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Exactly,

I totally thought I couldn’t read. But I guess when you’ve got nothing else to do you can literally teach an old dog new tricks.

Next, if you are a dude and Wolverine happens to be your soulmate, then you’ve got way more things to worry about than listening to AiC covers for the rest of your life.

And my answer to the questions is No. I don’t take the pill.

cto · Aug 10, 10:11 AM · #permalink

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