Taratukhin Saturday September 9, 2006

For most of last season I specifically omitted any reference to my belevoved Flames on ctoverdrive. My reasoning was fairly sound. It was purely based on some illogical Irish superstition that the team would crash and burn if I dared to hint its name. Then I went out on a limb and suggested a long hard series against the Ducks. Then they lost in seven games. (If only Kristen would have popped that break away in!)

Then hell fucking froze over and Edmonton went on a silly Stanely Cup run. Suddenly names like K-Low, Craig-T, Jussie Mack, C-Prong and Fernando began appearing over the radio. Edmontonians began planning an epic parade down whyte trash ave. Then this ridiculous I Cheer for the Oilers, because I want a Canadian Team to win excuse started appearing. Then after the game six the CBC pretty much declared the Oilers Stanley Cup winners. At the last possible moment the hockey gods finally awoke from their seven week slumber and put a glorious end to Edmonton’s run.

So with all that crappy luck you’d think I would stay away from the Hockey predictions. But who am I to learn from my mistakes. So I am back for another round of predictions.

Flames Emblem

But, I’m going to start slow this year and make one really bold training camp prediction. The new Russian Andrei Taratukhin will crack the squad and will not be sent down to Omaha. I’m super stoked to have this guy. He’s got the gusto of a Sutter player, plus the skill set to make him a potential second line centre. With Sutter jumping through the Russian legal hoops to sign him, I have a feeling he will be sticking around. But that also means that there will be a log jam at centre with Lombo, Lundmark and Ritchie also vying for the final two spots. Unless somebody goes down with an injury, I have a feeling that Lombo will be heading out east. (If you want more stats about the Flames, CalgaryPuck.com has a detailed rundown of camp)

Wow! Way to go out on a fucking limb. Alright, a couple more. Sir Charles Kobasew will score 30 goals and Tanguay, not Iginla, will lead the Flames in scoring.

Oh and one more prediction General Mill’s will ask Chris Pronger to take over as product sponsor for the Green Giant. He’ll accept, but on one condition. The theme song will change from Ho, Ho… Green Giant! to Ha, Ha … Stu-pid Oilers!

ChrisPronger - HAHA Stupid Oilers

(image courtesy of the snarky folks at Calgary puck)

Update: I guess I forgot to allow comments.

Categories: The-Flames, The-Pop-Culture, The Blogosphere, The Future, The Humourous

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