CrazyAunt Mary Wednesday August 16, 2006

My Crazy Aunt Mary flies into Calgary tonight from dear old Passage West in County Cork, Ireland. I call her my Crazy Aunt Mary solely because she is a fiery Irish woman with a quick temper and the amazing ability to catapault boil hot pots of tea at a phenomenal pace. She also sliced a man’s throat open while drinking a pint of Murphs. (Okay, maybe I made that part up) This is also her 7th 20th visit to Calgary and because of it I have spent the past couple of days trying to think of new things to show her in the city.

That got me thinking about a question that came up in one of my Urban Studies Class a while ago. Basically what are the first three places/attractions Calgarians you show foreign guests or tourists? In our typical ashamed and honest fashion the top three answers, were the – Banff/Lake Louise/Mountains, The Calgary Tower, or the Zoo. But besides the big three most of the class couldn’t think of anything else to do with Guests. So with that I’m going to be put on my sexy Calgary Miniskirt and Pompoms again and make another I have a hardon for Calgary post! So here in no particular order are my favorite (less known or least common) Calgary Tourist spots.

  • The Big Rock Brewery Tour – $5.00 dollars, a free pint glass of your choice, a taster sample of all their beers and then you can top it off with a lovely meal at the Big Rock Dinner. Is there any other way to start an afternoon off?
  • The Inglewood District & The CrossRoads Farmers Market. – I don’t understand why people don’t visit Inglewood as much as they should, I know it’s kind of hidden behind the East Village and it has that dreadful NE moniker in the address, but its a really neat little part of the city. There’s a bevy of cool antique shops and decent restaurants. Plus the CrossRoads Market is only a couple of minutes away. Sure it’s not Camden Market, but they do sell great Fudge and over priced Safeway Corn.
  • Ranchmans – Yes, we all know it’s been a Calgary staple for Donkey’s years, but have you actually gone there? Probably not. It’s so authentic that even ordering a Heineken will get you tossed. (ala Cool Runnings) For some reason tourists eat this crap up.
  • The Drumheller Badlands & The Tyrrell Museum – Since it is a fair bit of a drive away from Calgary, it is easily one of the most overlooked spots to go. It’s an amazing museum that seems to be growing because of funding and popularity. There are not many places in the world that have a comparable collection of fossilized bones.
  • Wayne, Alberta and the Last Chance Saloon – It’s just 2 minutes outside of Drumheller and is home to the Last Chance Saloon – a small quaint little bar/hotel, which runs some amazing hoe-downs during the weekends.
  • The Cowboy Trail – It’s the Highway that passes south through Black Diamond, Longview and Turner Valley all the way down to the Crowsnest Pass. You know the same region where Brokeback Mountain was shot and it is also home to the world’s greatest town – Turner Valley. Actually, Turner Valley was appointed by the UN as the world’s greatest town. Ture Story. There is literarily no crime and disease. The life expectancy of the average male is 129 years old. Also Chocolate flows from the taps and the average family income is $300,000. Rolling Rock and Rock Creek Cider gush out of the golden derrick at the heart of town.

Categories: The-Urban, The-Family,

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Despite living in Calgary my whole life… I havn’t done half of those things. Wow, I suck.

ryan · Aug 16, 06:16 PM · #permalink

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